Revelation!!!

Good Afternoon!!!!


I had a revelation yesterday that it always GREAT to surround yourself with good company and family!


For those of you who don't know I had knee surgery on October 13, 2011. I was prepared mentally and physically to go in that day to have my medial menicus repaired. My recovery time was suppose to be approximately less that 3 weeks and back to work I went.  God knew there was something else wrong and revealed it to my orthopedic surgeon upon entry to repair my menicus. The surgeon also did a chondroplasty (drilling of holes into my knee cartilage to produce more blood flow and reduce the extreme risk of arthritis). That chondroplasty has completely set me back mentally and physically. My recovery has been long and unexpected. I am learning that this was God trying to tell I need to slow down, humble myself, and let things go that I have no control over and to definitely fix the things I do.


I am still frustrated and perplexed that the weakness in my quad and the poor flexion in my knee have caused me to be home and dependent on others for the past 2 months. I have lived life think that I can do it all by myself with the exception of a little help from others. I have refused in the past to ask for help causing me to have self inflicted setbacks in life.  This recovery process has definitely humbled me. God has shown me who my true friends are, even with a simple phone call.  Those closest to me know that this is definitely taking it's toll on my spirits. I have never had to deal with pain to this degree nor the inability to fully function on my own.


There have been people I have dismissed out of my life for reasons that I thought were beneficial to myself and my growth. I now know that those people I thought were blisters were there to get make me stronger/tolerable to the pain.  God definitely places people and circumstances in front of you to help shape a better you. Lord knows I can have a hateful heart and am quick to let go and throw away. But as Rev. Anderson preached yesterday the only person suffering and missing their blessing is "ME".  There are some folks that I know I will never talk to again because of instances, but I need to clear my heart of the negativity and move on.  Knowing that later God may place this person in my life once more and I will be the person in NEED.  God is definitely working on me and my mindset.  I am by no means a horrible person but sometimes I think I give too much of myself expecting the same in return from others. Knowing now I do what I do because I care and no longer expecting the same from others.  LIFE is truly an unwritten book because each day can definitely deal a different outcome.


In years previous I have always thought of ways to pay someone back or think of ways of belittlement but currently that doesn't even seem to matter anymore.  The day will come when I fully have a soft heart but God  is showing me how to let go and let Him work his on His masterpiece.


ONE LOVE,
Amber